Fell in love with my best friend

[SpitMoney]

Ok heres the deal, me and my best friend we'll call her sherry, we did everything together, she was a single mom and the older sister of another one of my really good friends. anyway back to the point. We were so close for so long that people actually thought that we were dating already. She was pregnant with her third child when I met her, and I was helping her out out of respect for her brother(He was in jail). She had a boyfriend when we met but they broke up monthes later, after she became single I found myself really jealous of the attention she was getting from other men. I told her how I was feeling and she said she would never date a friend. Months later she tells me she wants to try a relationship and see where it goes. She bailed out days later and I havent spoken to her since, but Im still so fuckin in love with her. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN ON?!?!?!

[GLS87]

leave that shit alone my dude.. 3 kids?? Wit baggage like that.. thats a nogo homie keep it friendly.

[datoriginalplayboy]

i dont really think she sees u as more than a friend, so if i were u, id keep it at that, even if u think ur in love wit her

[SpitMoney]

i dont really think she sees u as more than a friend, so if i were u, id keep it at that, even if u think ur in love wit her

See thats the crazy thing about it, all I told her was I felt weird about her datin other guys, then shes the one with all the I love you, and I want to be with you shit, than she bails. thats wat confused me

[West Coast_Finest]

well it seems like it might just be "friends" for now.. but women usually have a tendancy to fall in love with the guy they spend the most time with even if they dont feel like that in the begginin

[W1ld Bill]

The same thing happened to me a while ago

I cared about my friend way more than a friend and i did for quite some time. When i finally threw all the cards on the table and drew them lines in the sand she said she felt the same way. Then before i know it things fall apart before they even really began and turns out she didn't want a relationship from me and that she just saw me as a close friend.

Its like this....

As A FRIEND (These are the keywords here) you did more for her or just as much as a boyfriend would (boosting her self esteem, helping her with her kids, etc). Therefore she loved to have you around while at the same time had no real reason to take it to the next level with you since she got all the perks (except maybe sex and even then she can get that from anywhere)

Then when you put the cards on the table it throws up a red flag in her head because now it looks like if she says no that she don't wanna go out with you that you're are not gonna keep treating her to the way that she's grown accustomed to or worse yet you'll just up and leave.

So just to keep you in that position she says yes even though she doesn't really want to be with you which came to the light relatively quickly as its hard to fake some shit like that for very long. And that's essentially what it boils down to.......She doesn't necessarily want to be with you but she damn sure don't want to lose you either.

Human nature tells us that if we want something from someone that they can't provide that our next option should be to move on to someone who can. Both my friend and your friend know that so they hooked us and tried to hold on to us a lil bit longer

All in all, i would say just cut your losses and let it go (and that has nothing to do with her having kids) She doesn't appreciate you the way that you appreciate her.

[SpitMoney]

The same thing happened to me a while ago

I cared about my friend way more than a friend and i did for quite some time. When i finally threw all the cards on the table and drew them lines in the sand she said she felt the same way. Then before i know it things fall apart before they even really began and turns out she didn't want a relationship from me and that she just saw me as a close friend.

Its like this....

As A FRIEND (These are the keywords here) you did more for her or just as much as a boyfriend would (boosting her self esteem, helping her with her kids, etc). Therefore she loved to have you around while at the same time had no real reason to take it to the next level with you since she got all the perks (except maybe sex and even then she can get that from anywhere)

Then when you put the cards on the table it throws up a red flag in her head because now it looks like if she says no that she don't wanna go out with you that you're are not gonna keep treating her to the way that she's grown accustomed to or worse yet you'll just up and leave.

So just to keep you in that position she says yes even though she doesn't really want to be with you which came to the light relatively quickly as its hard to fake some shit like that for very long. And that's essentially what it boils down to.......She doesn't necessarily want to be with you but she damn sure don't want to lose you either.

Human nature tells us that if we want something from someone that they can't provide that our next option should be to move on to someone who can. Both my friend and your friend know that so they hooked us and tried to hold on to us a lil bit longer

All in all, i would say just cut your losses and let it go (and that has nothing to do with her having kids) She doesn't appreciate you the way that you appreciate her.

Had to prop you on that one bro, thats the best advice Ive heard so far. people dont understand whats goin on until they go through it. But your right I should jus cut my losses, I jus dont know how to get her off my mind, shes all I knew day in and day out for a year and some odd months. Hardest thing to do in the world

[W1ld Bill]

Had to prop you on that one bro, thats the best advice Ive heard so far. people dont understand whats goin on until they go through it. But your right I should jus cut my losses, I jus dont know how to get her off my mind, shes all I knew day in and day out for a year and some odd months. Hardest thing to do in the world

its definitely easier said than done but the heart is one hell of a resilient muscle that people tend to underestimate. Gotta just keep yourself occupied. Idle hands are the devil's playground. She aint gonna be the last chick you come across that you'll fall for.

Even if it doesn't feel like it just realize that she's losing so much more than you are. Can you honestly tell yourself that she did as much for you as you did for her whether it be emotionally, physically, materialistically, financially? The answer's a certified no. And you know how i know? Cuz she don't appreciate you like you appreciated her.

Time heals all wounds, just hold ya head

[Chicago Bull]

Listen to W1ld Bill, hes a g when it come to serious soap opera shit like that.

[bigslim24]

thats just a breezie being a breezie, they dont know what the fuck they want from day to day...

[W1ld Bill]

Listen to W1ld Bill, hes a g when it come to serious soap opera shit like that.

unfortunately :(

[W1ld Bill]

thats just a breezie being a breezie, they dont know what the fuck they want from day to day...

actually i'd say she knows exactly what she wants but she can't say "what i want is to keep you in the position that you're in" because it's expected that he's not gonna tolerate that and split so she plays with the dudes emotions and tries to give him a false sense of hope

[Mr. ILkZ]

yea shit is crazy, i went thru that .. we spent so much time together and i slowly started realizing im jealous of her even talking about other guys or talking to other guys..she would show me them signs back though..but once i made my move .. she fronted.. she told me she would give it a shot but then she left me there..

[SpitMoney]

yea shit is crazy, i went thru that .. we spent so much time together and i slowly started realizing im jealous of her even talking about other guys or talking to other guys..she would show me them signs back though..but once i made my move .. she fronted.. she told me she would give it a shot but then she left me there..

Exactly bro, she hated on every chick that I tried to talk to, every single one. Told me they werent right for me, then she comes outta no where wit this, " I think maybe we should make an exeption and give it a try" Then BOOM shes gone. weird. I was even the one like no maybe we shouldnt because I feel like this isnt even you talkin. She tried to make me feel bad like I hurt her feelings or somethin, talkin about how much she really loved me and how she knew this was gonna happen thats why she didnt wanna do it, then she totally played me

[PaulMatthew06]

bi polar

[BloodyAcesIsrael]

Just get it friendly my dude

[W1ld Bill]

yea shit is crazy, i went thru that .. we spent so much time together and i slowly started realizing im jealous of her even talking about other guys or talking to other guys..she would show me them signs back though..but once i made my move .. she fronted.. she told me she would give it a shot but then she left me there..

She was jealous because

1)She has no choice but to accept the idea that she's not special/unique and that you can do for someone else what you've done for her which leads to ...

2) the idea that you can find someone better and actually leave her and not provide her with what she'd grown accustomed to

[Dirty F]

fuckery. dats deep u cant put that shit out there den pull out fuck her shes on some mind games shit i think u shud bail out nothing long....oh yeah shes got 3 KIDS. definately get da fuck out

[SeanJohnPlaya]

leave that shit alone my dude.. 3 kids?? Wit baggage like that.. thats a nogo homie keep it friendly.

Co-sign

[~BLAZE~]

you either stay close friends or not at all.wants she sees you as a friend i dont think she is going to want to change that.im going through the same thing rite now i got to emotionally attach to this girl and all my feelings was bottled up, and when i told her how i felt she told me she only seems
me as a good/close friend. shit took a lot out of me to tell her how i felt and when she told me she didn't feel the same way i felt like shit ...we still talk
but not like before and now i wish i never told her how i felt but what can i do...

[Kamy]

u touched down in the friend zone

[Formerly_LFY]

Wild bill said it best

I was in a similiar situation but not quite the same the best thing I can say is don't make someone a priority when they see you as an option

[Cleofis336]

well damn it if something like that didnt happen to me as well. the female I was real close with didnt have kids or anything...her only baggage was she going through some heavy turmoil with her boyfriend or whatever. so I was seeing her everyday at work 5 days a week, then sometimes we'd hang together after work, just chillin, watching tv or playing video games and what not, even on the weekend, so for the whole summer, after she broke up with her man, she was all i knew, everyday, all day. shit was so perfect, a match made in heaven. then near the end of the summer, and a few i love yous later, things started gettin sketchy. conversations grew few and chilling together rarely happened. by then yea, i could tell something wasnt right, and i felt like she led me on to build me up, then bailed in the end.


about what to do now...shits crazy, and yea your first reaction is to be mad and upset and have grudge type cause you're pissed or still just downright confused about what happened, why it happened and so forth. man, my summer which was like 3.5 months felt like a year, and sometimes now I still find myself thinking about her, or getting mad about the situation, but thats all I can really do. You said yours was like for a year, so I know its gonna take some time to get over, so just keep your head up man, and stay strong.

Another thing, me myself, I dont burn bridges )or really try not to) so I 've talked to her after everything went down, and I guess things are straight or whatever. I just try not to be on bad terms or hold grudges with folks...cause for me I'll have to work with her again this summer. But her and I are still friends or whatever...so I mean, once you're over the situation, then maybe you and her can go back to that or you can finished that little fufillment to her brother which is in jail. Just know your limits for what you provide as a friend, because you dont want to fall back in the same predicament, unless you're totally sure this time she wont bail again, but even then that could still be treacherous.

But if you're really curious about whats going on, and you really want answers, just ask. Other than that, just give yourself time to heal and get over the situation.

Good Luck.

[SpitMoney]

well damn it if something like that didnt happen to me as well. the female I was real close with didnt have kids or anything...her only baggage was she going through some heavy turmoil with her boyfriend or whatever. so I was seeing her everyday at work 5 days a week, then sometimes we'd hang together after work, just chillin, watching tv or playing video games and what not, even on the weekend, so for the whole summer, after she broke up with her man, she was all i knew, everyday, all day. shit was so perfect, a match made in heaven. then near the end of the summer, and a few i love yous later, things started gettin sketchy. conversations grew few and chilling together rarely happened. by then yea, i could tell something wasnt right, and i felt like she led me on to build me up, then bailed in the end.


about what to do now...shits crazy, and yea your first reaction is to be mad and upset and have grudge type cause you're pissed or still just downright confused about what happened, why it happened and so forth. man, my summer which was like 3.5 months felt like a year, and sometimes now I still find myself thinking about her, or getting mad about the situation, but thats all I can really do. You said yours was like for a year, so I know its gonna take some time to get over, so just keep your head up man, and stay strong.

Another thing, me myself, I dont burn bridges )or really try not to) so I 've talked to her after everything went down, and I guess things are straight or whatever. I just try not to be on bad terms or hold grudges with folks...cause for me I'll have to work with her again this summer. But her and I are still friends or whatever...so I mean, once you're over the situation, then maybe you and her can go back to that or you can finished that little fufillment to her brother which is in jail. Just know your limits for what you provide as a friend, because you dont want to fall back in the same predicament, unless you're totally sure this time she wont bail again, but even then that could still be treacherous.

But if you're really curious about whats going on, and you really want answers, just ask. Other than that, just give yourself time to heal and get over the situation.

Good Luck.

Makes so much sense I jus wish it was that easy to do. I miss her so much and I dont want to hold a grudge I jus dont know how to approach the situation. I feel like the only way for me to keep myself safe is to be angry at her because I kno in my heart truly if she was to say she wanted to try it again I would sincerly consider it. So being angry is the only thing that could stop me from doing that. Even if she NEVER said anything about it again I would still feel like I was played in the end. So anger is my shelter if you will. May sound soft but its real

[2fresh]

ma nigga she has feelings for you she wants you to be the man to basically '' save'' her, her ex man in jail, n she got 3 kids from b4, only reason she bailed out is cuz of all the emotional baggage she got from her other man what you need to do is, gradually produce a intimate relationship wit her, hang out wit her kids,take her out to lunch, baby sit her kid. thats how you gonna win her over. thats of course if u wanna be wit her

[SpitMoney]

thats that bullshit, females make everything fuckin complicated all because they want to have it all. But when they lose what they have behind chasin shit they aint goin get, they blame it on the nigga