i need help

[26goinOn28z]

i`ve been going out wid ma chick for 9months so far....and i gotta say she really has held me down...i`ve had a pretty crap 2006....4 of ma main niggas...past away....wid out her i would have went insane....

BT.....

There is something about her that really gets to me....she is really flirty....it really gets to me...i`ve told her about it and she told me she knows she is...and she is gonna stop it..bt dat was when we 1st started goin out....and ova these past months...i really dont c a change...it really plays on ma mind.....it feels like i cant trust her anymore.....

Da last straw was last nite....we went out wid a couple of friends...bt she left me alone da whole nite cuz she went on her own lil party wid her gurls....and ma boyz wer busy wid their own shit.....so i went to look for her and i went up on da dancefloor and she was wid her gurls in a circle dancing and she was smackin da ass of a guy:shock: .....and she had a history wid guy....i told her about and she knows it was wrong....

Bt really.....dis shit is fucked up.....im so lost

[laddiiluv]

yo tru say i dont know if u wan use it or not but leave da g if not tell her its the las straw n u dont see change ur dippin trus me ima female i used to play man like nuthin cuz one man broke meh heart i used to tell guys yea theyr jus a frined or there my x or some shyt like that i dont know this g to tuff but if u truely have some serious feelins for her tell her how u truely feel u guys may have had this talk but she needs it again n shell listen if u mean anythin to her

[JerseysPrince]

Yeah...alot of girls are just naturally flirt.Knowing this..just know that if shes honest....you dont have anything to worry about.
In my opinion I wouldnt get with a girl who is naturally flirtatious

[viciuzurban]

hey man whats happenin in perth?


If a girl is acting that open, especially one who has a boyfriend, it's likely she's just messing around. Sure she might like you, but take it with a grain of salt. She also may just be keeping her teeth sharp on you.

I'm actually in situations like that too ... At parties and social gatherings, there are girls who, out of nowhere, sneak up behind me and grab my ass. Now, I know I'm a pretty sexy guy, but no girl with true interest would be that open, especially when she has a boyfriend. I don’t let that shit slide- it makes me feel like shit.

Sure the option is always there and I'm sure if there were no social reprecussions that she'd fuck you in a heartbeat, but it's very important not to develop true feelings for this kind of girl. She is subliminally saying to that YOU’RE REPLACEABLE!

Then there is the issue of “double standards”- if she does some shit like this, then she is saying it's fine for you to do it also.

I remember when i first met my girl. one thing that bothered me that she did alot was talking to other guys who were strangers then hugging them before she left. i drew the line and said i didn't like that and she said what are you insecure and i just told her that i didn't like other mens arms around my woman. she laughed..... thats until i took her to a few parties where i knew a few girls and this one girl who always was interested in me, sat on my knee and we did shots and she put her arms around me to keep balance and my woman got really jealous to the point of moving the girl of my knee. she then seen how it felt to be on the other end.

If I was you, I’d feel no regret in kicking her ass to the curb and moving on.

But if you’re feeling that you can turn this hoe into some sort of long-term thing, you must establish boundaries for thisgirl. The boundaries you establish have to reasonable and they have to be things that are important enough to you to set them in the first place. You're confused and probably letting shit happened because you dont know what you value yourself first?? Think about that.

secondly, you have to tell your girl what these rules are and what the consequences are for breaking these boundaries. And, if she breaks the rules, you have to be true to your word and enforce the consequences you have set out.

Chicks actually like guys that set boundaries and enforce consequences and are true to their word. It turns them on and reinforces the respect they have for you as a man not as an OBJECT.

Maybe she is incapable of living up to one of your important rules you've set. Most attention-whores can't live up to this rule. Most attention-whores cannot give up the rush they get from flirting too much with other guys and the attention they receive from it.

Most guys who have this boundary cannot stand being with an attention-whore for very long.

Give her one more chance. Tell her your boundaries, why they are important to you and tell her the consequences of breaking the rules again. Be true to your word and enforce the consequences with a finality if she breaks them again because then she is just incapable of making you a happy boyfriend.

Another girl might be.

A more constructive way to deal with this is to start with a fair consequence, but not one that is vengeful, or trying to hurt her. One practical way to work this out is.. when she flirts, I'd tell her "you know, when you do that, I just get turned off to hanging out. I'm taking off. Do you want a ride home?" That's very honest and fair, who'd want to be around their gf when she flirts. You haven't bossed her around. And, she has to deal with fair and understandable consequences, a bf that just gets turned off. If it happens after that, then I'd repeat this every time. You may want to escalate by not getting together with her again until she discusses this- if she is too immature to sit down and discuss it then obviously you know what to do.

Some of relationship stuff is like dealing with children... you have to set fair limits, and dispassionately/mechanically give consequences whenever limits are violated. The other person just learns "cause - consequence". Up to her if she wants the consequence or not. hope this shit helps.

[26goinOn28z]

yo guyz...thanks alot for ur kind and helpful words....BIG propz to you viciuzurban...thanks for taking the time in explaining and writing out what u think.....i will really take ur advice to heart and put in practice....i will keep u guyz posted on what happens with us

Thanks alot

I hope i dont get ma heart rip apart.....cuz ma feelings for her are deep

[viciuzurban]

dont get too caught up its part of the learning process.

[usa]

ent read what other people posted... but you have to trust her, remember youre the one she's comming back to, let her have her fun, im sure you check out girls (if you dont, sorry for saying you do) but let her play aswell... at the end of the day youre together but cant be locked up!

[darnbni99a]

dont get too caught up its part of the learning process.

ya mayne...she sounds like a keeper..

[26goinOn28z]

aye sup guyz.....yer i now wat u`ll mean....and i have spoken to her about dis again....and she knew i meant it this time....she has changed alot...she pays alot more attention to me now and makes alot more time for me.

Guess all i needed was 2 stand up and man up

[viciuzurban]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[...:::Aries...:::]

my man told me that any guy that becomes a girls friend had intentions on fuckin her and its still probably in his mind...the thing is you have to trust that your girl wont fall for that shit...


thats why i stay on my toes when i do get guy friends

[cp3boy]

aye sup guyz.....yer i now wat u`ll mean....and i have spoken to her about dis again....and she knew i meant it this time....she has changed alot...she pays alot more attention to me now and makes alot more time for me.

Guess all i needed was 2 stand up and man up




Good to see that yo

[djjayr]

I think you are too sensitive, be more open and stand up.

[PLAYBOY™]

thats not a good sign that shes a flirt

uh...but yeah if you've known the whole time that shes a flirt..not much you can do

you knew what you were getting into when yall started dating

and the fact that it was with a guy shes already has history with..even worse

now you told her its fucked up...and she admitted it was

so thats the most you can do right now

anymore and you'll look like a jealous bf, and in her fucked up little mind she'll somehow make YOU the bad guy

anyways

if she does it again after both of you recognized that this is a problem

leave that chick

[J-Town815]

man u might have to drop her

[26goinOn28z]

ah man...itz all good....thanks guyz....bt im gonna keep da thread open....jst incase...LOL

[Obietwicedaskill]

you might have to get rid of her

[Jeremy2k316]

Man tell her how you feel and that she needs to stop all the flirting because you cant handle it and its disrespectful to you and if she cant change man then get a brake because I know if my girl was flirting with all my homies and every dude out there I would be like wtf but then again id do the same thing and start flirting with a bunch of females until she learns her lesson