IS MARRIAGE DEAD???

[InYourDreams]

What ever happened to wanting family values?

Whats your thoughts on this?

[PLAYBOY™]

marriage is dead

love is dead

chivalry is dead

good girls are dead

oh yeah and hip hop is dead

[vexvegaz]

i wouldnt go as far as to say its dead..but in its current state? its layin in the intensive care unit

[InYourDreams]

I sure hope not, cuz i plan to do it one day

[ProNouN]

i wouldnt go as far as to say its dead..but in its current state? its layin in the intensive care unit

lol...

[mostincredible]

naw marriage aint dead....its wat u make of it...most ppl nowadays hear and see bein a pimp or a playa all thru tha mainstream so thats wat they wanna emulate...its a fad thats gonna die out pretty soon and well be back to a period similar to soulful 70's...

[InYourDreams]

naw marriage aint dead....its wat u make of it....
Yeah i agree, I'm getting tired of being unmarried...I'm ready to settle down

[PLAYBOY™]

Yeah i agree, I'm getting tired of being unmarried...I'm ready to settle down

how old are you?

[InYourDreams]

old enough to be married

[PLAYBOY™]

old enough to be married

thats not what i asked

[bLoOd_mOneY]

*sigh* IYD's is 30


bottom line..plz stop frontin.

[mostincredible]

thats not what i asked

lol @ askin a chick her age....online at that

[playaplaya915]

I sure hope not, cuz i plan to do it one day

lol. me too. :(

[youngprod]

marriage is dead

love is dead

chivalry is dead

good girls are dead

oh yeah and hip hop is dead

^^^agree w/ all but da last part

[2XL]

yep... people's expectation's are to high these days... girls want the hot guy they see in crappy pop video's and vis-versa for the guys...

[bLoOd_mOneY]

I dont know...do not let statistics clog your life...



if you want to be so commited and tie it up with the law of marriage..then do so...

its your life - only you could effect it for the better.

[InYourDreams]

*sigh* IYD's is 30


bottom line..plz stop frontin.


wrong but close, I've never kept my age a secret

[bLoOd_mOneY]

yep... people's expectation's are to high these days... girls want the hot guy they see in crappy pop video's and vis-versa for the guys...

i agree. thats no mere than an illusion, those 'fantasies' are produced from MTV and BET all media entertainment to be precised.




what that does is cause - a major dysfunction fundamentally between men and women within actually society.

[PLAYBOY™]

lol @ askin a chick her age....online at that

its not like im trying to mack to her

im just asking, cuz she said shes ready for marriage and thats a bold statement so i asked for her age,thats all

[InYourDreams]

or the fact I'm divorced

[bLoOd_mOneY]

^damn, but why are you willing risk again then?

[viciuzurban]

It is no question that marriage has tremendous social, economic and poltiical benefits to society. However at the moment, there is a growing following of disillusion with marriage as an institution. People dont feel obligated to remain in relationships just because they have to or are bound by. People want to run their lives without as much government regulation and influcence from churches, polticians and . The passage of time has also seen marriage become more secularised in nature. There are no longer any requirements for a religious ceremony associated with marriage, and its occurrence, formalities and registration are purely secular.


As marriage continues to become a less dominant force in peoples, this doesnt mean that marriage will be replaced with something else i.e. civil unions, etc. Marriage will continue to exist and will remain the same. People will continue to marry with the intention of staying together for life. That doesnt mean that all marriages will last. Some will fail, its natural. But 60-70 % will remain for life.

In more recent times, countries had to try to reinstate marriage by resorting back to old traditional values. That does not simply work. Trying to formualize marriage and resort to a rigid criteria is exclusionism; it would only alienate more and more people from marriage hoping to seek some other sort of recognition for their relationships.

Is marriage dead? No. It remains a choice, an option for people. Governments and churches have politicized it and manipualted too much that the viewing public has lost touch with it. They've try to scare people by oversensationalising the issue. More action is needed and funding to worthwhile areas or marriage education rather than just rhetoic bullshit. With that in mind, divorce has also become a multi-billion dollar industry. So either way there are people trying to mess with you.

[InYourDreams]

^damn, but why are you willing risk again then?

yeah, I dont want to spend my life alone

[bLoOd_mOneY]

It is no question that marriage has tremendous social, economic and poltiical benefits to society. However at the moment, there is a growing following of disillusion with marriage as an institution. People dont feel obligated to remain in relationships just because they have to or are bound by. People want to run their lives without as much government regulation and influcence from churches, polticians and . The passage of time has also seen marriage become more secularised in nature. There are no longer any requirements for a religious ceremony associated with marriage, and its occurrence, formalities and registration are purely secular.


As marriage continues to become a less dominant force in peoples, this doesnt mean that marriage will be replaced with something else i.e. civil unions, etc. Marriage will continue to exist and will remain the same. People will continue to marry with the intention of staying together for life. That doesnt mean that all marriages will last. Some will fail, its natural. But 60-70 % will remain for life.

In more recent times, countries had to try to reinstate marriage by resorting back to old traditional values. That does not simply work. Trying to formualize marriage and resort to a rigid criteria is exclusionism; it would only alienate more and more people from marriage hoping to seek some other sort of recognition for their relationships.

Is marriage dead? No. It remains a choice, an option for people. Governments and churches have politicized it and manipualted too much that the viewing public has lost touch with it. They've try to scare people by oversensationalising the issue. More action is needed and funding to worthwhile areas or marriage education rather than just rhetoic bullshit. With that in mind, divorce has also become a multi-billion dollar industry. So either way there are people trying to mess with you.

i concur with your statement

[bLoOd_mOneY]

yeah, I dont want to spend my life alone

Same thing my girl told me...

I can understand that...

[lightone]

marriage is dead

love is dead

chivalry is dead

good girls are dead

oh yeah and hip hop is dead

^^^^^^
you right

[sHo-Tee]

marriage is dead

love is dead

chivalry is dead

good girls are dead

oh yeah and hip hop is dead

Man it's because people's values are screwed up nowadays. It's more common to see a pregnant female then a married female. But I'm old-school, I want everything done in order like it use to be, date, marry, move-in, then kids. I'm sick of watching Maury and a chick have a boyfriend for 14 years.

Chivalry dead because there alot of scandolous women and men who out for number one and guys so use to having bad, they don't want to put their goodness out a bag no more, and it's sad

Oh yeah and hip hop will be coming back, soon, maybe just one artist at a time but wait til Lupe gets bigger, people are going to have to meet some kind of standard again.

[sHo-Tee]

or the fact I'm divorced

Wow, you a strong woman for wanting to take that big step again.

[InYourDreams]

Wow, you a strong woman for wanting to take that big step again.

I still have strong family values and good morals...i believe in marriage

[kasual706]

why get married, to give up half yah stuff, i think not!
did adam and eve go to the court house to tie the knot,
no they stayed together and god saw them as one....,
it's really pointless, and it puts too much pressure to label
an already good thing....when you get married it all falls apart....

[sHo-Tee]

why get married, to give up half yah stuff, i think not!
did adam and eve go to the court house to tie the knot,
no they stayed together and god saw them as one....,
it's really pointless, and it puts too much pressure to label
an already good thing....when you get married it all falls apart....


...Um haha, I don't think there were court houses back then anyways and besides is was either each other of one of the animals, haha, they didn't have much of a selection

[kasual706]

well even still, formal marriages didnt take place for along time after either,
it's all a bunch of bs, if you with someone, be with them 4 ever, that certificate aint gonna make it more permanent. I am never getting married, it
just doesn't work, soon as you do it, all hell breaks lose, I found a cat dead in his house last week, killed himself because his wife met someone on myspace, that pumped her head thinkin he was bad for her, and she was filin for divorce, had custody of his kid and the whole shit, with no visits
dude was 42 years old and didn't wanna live without her, and he knew she wasnt comin back.......far as im concerned she might has well shot him...takes his kid, his home, his car, and half his money?! wtf!? I think I'll keep it hood with my wifey, not wife!

[sHo-Tee]

damn....that's just down right depressing... but I don't know I want to get married. My parents have been together for 25 years and I think that's a beautiful thing and I want that for my children too. I mean alot of childs grow up fine without one parent, but I don't know I rather say "ask your dad" and dad be on the other side of the house and not on the other side of the phone.

So Kasual706, do you not want kids? Or kids and just no marriage?

[kasual706]

oh i have three kids all with the same woman, and ive been with her for 8 years.....we say we married but neither one of us requires the papers if you will......we love each other and we are true, well ive slipped but she wasnt making me happy at that point so we overcame our differences.....you can view my myspace page and see my babies! i love em to death and ill never leave them or they mom, we'll always be down even if she see someone else......we got history together, that's my soulja!

[InYourDreams]

.takes his kid, his home, his car, and half his money?! wtf!? I think I'll keep it hood with my wifey, not wife!


Its kinda sad that these days its mostly about the money. Wifey can still take the kid and keep the house. There are alot of women these days that make just as much, if not more money than the guys. Not all women sit on their asses at home in front of the tv.

I think about the kids also, growing up with no real foundation to work with when they grow up. At this rate this attitude is only going to get worse.

[viciuzurban]

the divorce system favours too much the women in relationships as you said in those settlement cases the woman gets mostly everything the father doesnt even factor into it which is sad cos its usually the wifey's new boyfriend or lover who is more abusive and more likely to mess with the kids than the real biological father....

[vexvegaz]

the divorce system favours too much the women in relationships as you said in those settlement cases the woman gets mostly everything the father doesnt even factor into it which is sad cos its usually the wifey's new boyfriend or lover who is more abusive and more likely to mess with the kids than the real biological father....

and thats how situations like O.J. comes up

[kasual706]

well not all folk iz like me, i pay all the billz in my home, and wifey lives with me, so my kids have the "foundation" my kids have never seen another woman with me like that, nor my ol lady, i just see no need for the formalities, it seems man made not god made to me, it's a good idea but it just don't work in most cases.....i dunno??

[InYourDreams]

well not all folk iz like me, i pay all the billz in my home, and wifey lives with me, so my kids have the "foundation" my kids have never seen another woman with me like that, nor my ol lady, i just see no need for the formalities, it seems man made not god made to me, it's a good idea but it just don't work in most cases.....i dunno??

Hey, if it works for you...do what you do!! I'm not saying that living together is wrong. I believe that people should live together for a time to see if its really "right".

Everyone has their opinions and thats why we are discussing this :)

[kasual706]

Hey, if it works for you...do what you do!! I'm not saying that living together is wrong. I believe that people should live together for a time to see if its really "right".

Everyone has their opinions and thats why we are discussing this :)

TRU....it is a good subject ain't it! lol

[InYourDreams]

yeah it really is, and every once in a while we get some people in here that can discuss a subject like this with some maturity...i appreciate that.

you and I both know, that at the end of the day we are gonna log off and do what we do. Nothing that you say or nothing i say is really gonna change anything...peace

[Version J3]

Nah, marriage isn't dead.

I guess it really depends on what you define as marriage. Some people say you're only married if you have a ceremony, or whatever. I think ceremonies are dying down, probably because it makes them feel cemented or caged in. But people forget, back in the old days, slaves and shit didn't have a huge ass ceremony with cake and a preacher and stuff... They jumped fucking brooms!

Basically, I think it's all in your head. If you've been faithful to your girl and she to you, and if you love each other... She's your wifey. You don't need a ring to tell you that, the relationship goes deeper than material shit.

[kasual706]

oh my wifey got the rings engagement and bands plus all the other rings ive given....everything to be married is in place just never got government papers to prove it.......lol

[kasual706]

yeah it really is, and every once in a while we get some people in here that can discuss a subject like this with some maturity...i appreciate that.

you and I both know, that at the end of the day we are gonna log off and do what we do. Nothing that you say or nothing i say is really gonna change anything...peace

yeah shockingly no crazy remarks perse' in this thread.....lol

[viciuzurban]

tru people are cohabiting with each other before marriage to see whether it works out or not and more and more people are getting married later in life in their 30s so what does that tell you....although there still are a lot of youngins tying the knot....

[Version J3]

It may just be me, but I think it's cause they're impressionable.

Ok, let's say... you knock up a girl that's 16 or 17. Somethin around there. She's still living with her parents, and there's no way you can take care of the kid right now because you've got school to deal with. You quit, you get a job, all that jazz. Yet it's still not gonna be enough. You wanna keep the kid....

Nah, forget the scenario. Marriage today is really because of financial benefit. That's the reason gays wanna get married so much. They've been living together for years, they love each other, all that shit. It's just that the benefits you get today with marriage are soooooooo nice... People will tell you they don't want them to get married because of religious reasons, but you gotta think of something...

If marriage was so holy, why is Las Vegas still around with their GET-MARRIED-QUICK ceremonies, eh? You know... the ones that you can get annulled when you're sober.

[viciuzurban]

It may just be me, but I think it's cause they're impressionable.

Ok, let's say... you knock up a girl that's 16 or 17. Somethin around there. She's still living with her parents, and there's no way you can take care of the kid right now because you've got school to deal with. You quit, you get a job, all that jazz. Yet it's still not gonna be enough. You wanna keep the kid....

Nah, forget the scenario. Marriage today is really because of financial benefit. That's the reason gays wanna get married so much. They've been living together for years, they love each other, all that shit. It's just that the benefits you get today with marriage are soooooooo nice... People will tell you they don't want them to get married because of religious reasons, but you gotta think of something...

If marriage was so holy, why is Las Vegas still around with their GET-MARRIED-QUICK ceremonies, eh? You know... the ones that you can get annulled when you're sober.

Huh wtf r u trying to say???

That 24/7 shit in Vegas is no longer the protocol cos too many ppl be marrying for wwhack reasons....

sure marriage has become a commodity nowadays and more people are shopping around for a better deal a wifey or a man with a big checkbook but most arent and most marry cos they want to...economics doesnt matter that much.....as for gays marrying for benefits..that shits wrong they struggled so long without benefits and fighting for them that they learned to live without them.....they want recognition more than anything else and as religious conservatives talked up bullshit they'll never get it....if a third tier of marriage comes into the equation legislating for gays/lesbians, hetrosexual couples will be wanting more benefits also....people are accpeting....

[Version J3]

They still have a preacher at those Vegas Chapels, don't they?

[viciuzurban]

yes she probably does 10-50 marriages a day dont quote me.....

[DArena]

compatability.it so hard

[kasual706]

in essence marriage is a public admitance to being in a commited relationship,
I feel I have that already, custody, and financial laws make it very uncomfortable on the male end of marriage, too me it just seems that after working all your life to establish who you are, job, education, etc (without the woman) then you meet her, get married, then divorce, she gets half, wheres the justice??

[InYourDreams]

That may be true in some instances. Divorce is really a no win situation. Someone always loses. Contrary to everyones belief its not always the man. We talk about the court system being sympathetic to the women, those attitudes are changing. Men are keeping the kids, the house and the car.

I think its all personal preference. I've been divorced and I've been there, and let me tell you i didnt take everything. But thats just me i guess I wanted to be fair even tho i got the bad end of the deal.

That still doesnt make me not want to get married it just made me want to think twice about the next person i get hooked up with.

[viciuzurban]

Theorists predict that the failure of divorce law to protect and compensate vulnerable partners may have contributed to a ‘cognitive restructuring’ of the idea of marriage which has influenced how people feel about personal commitments (Glendon, 1989). The effects of this ‘restructuring’ include a greater reluctance to marry and to spend adequate time and energy searching for a partner.

People are less likely to invest the requisite time and energy in their initial search for a partner and more likely to make a poor choice. Since many young couples are not familiar with the divorce law and cherish unrealistic expectations about their own future marriage, they will make uninformed marital choices

The policy objectives that seem most worth pursuing for the purpose of supporting marriage are those of maintaining and enhancing relationship quality alongside education for young couples. The transition to marriage is life-changing. Knowing certain things and expectations is the key to survival. However saying all this there are unknown complications that will come up. Its inevitable. Hopefully couples are equipped in a sense by some of these things. I understand that the majority of them are learnt based on the circumstances individually rather than from a marriage class.

[BxSoLdiEr718]

its not dead people juss need to no how to take sum responsibility and shyt...and people juss dont wanna deal with that shyt.....

[sHo-Tee]

Fuck a theory I'm getting married and I'mma have a big ass house with a white-picket fence and like four cars, three kids (two boys and a girl of course) and I'mma be happy and if he or anyone else tries to break up my fuckin happy home, I'd kill em!!!!

[nineoneone]

pretty much

[realwhite]

a lot of america is too fucked up to know what family values are....

[OldSkooler]

Marriage is looked at as boring and a pain in da azz.

[THC]

where is the poll to show the results ? :laugh:

[DaRKeNdS0uL]

Im young still but 2 me marriage isnt even in mah mind anymore .. i mean it iznt as sacred as it waz be4 thatz 4 sure but idk i cant explain it ..

[viciuzurban]

Trying to formualize marriage and resort to a rigid criteria is exclusionism; it would only alienate more people from marriage. Marriage needs to be inclusive as much as possible to sustain any sense of respectability.

In the end, ultimately people should make their own decisions as to who they marry and what goals and aspirations they want their marriage to signify.Choosing a mate, requires more than paying attention to sexual and emotional attraction. We must use our minds and our judgment, as well as our hearts, to pick a spouse with whom we can share the most important projects and goals of our lives.

[Cutthroat]

I'll be surprised to see a marriage these days last more than 2 years.

[viciuzurban]

what you talking about mang look around it aint like all marriages are failing. 50-60% of them are intended for life and will remain for life regardless of the moral/religious/cultural undertones

[viciuzurban]

Governments dont really care about whom they hurt or whom benefits from marriage. If they allow same-sex marriages, hetrosexuals would be hurt. If same sex couples were denied, they are worse off discrimination wise.

[bLoOd_mOneY]

what you talking about mang look around it aint like all marriages are failing. 50-60% of them are intended for life and will remain for life regardless of the moral/religious/cultural undertones

Exactly.

[sneaksntits]

living together w/o being married is real popular..once u live with some1 then there isint that much desire to get married

[mountdoom]

when i was doing my internship the most of the cases I was helping out with were divorce and about 75% of the time it was a divorce because the "bitch" or "the mutherfucker" cheated on the other

[Yung Sho Blastfame]

Sex is the reason marriage is dead... Everybody wanna fuck a new face

[Joey Click Clack]

forget moral/social/relegious beleifs .. if u loyal 2 ur wife n famz u gone last .. if u wana fuck a new face, why'd u 'settle down' in the first place?

[crackur]

living together w/o being married is real popular..once u live with some1 then there isint that much desire to get married
I have to disagree, most women when they find a good guy, they want to marry. The REAL men want to marry them back as well, to keep the GOOD women. Its the foundation to start a family.

One good man, one good woman........remember......both have to be good lol

[crackur]

forget moral/social/relegious beleifs .. if u loyal 2 ur wife n famz u gone last .. if u wana fuck a new face, why'd u 'settle down' in the first place?
exactly

[InYourDreams]

NO, I dont believe marriage is dead.

To the ones that think it is, wait a few years, you'll prolly change your minds

[bLoOd_mOneY]

^Retarded :smh:

[busyb]

I don't think it's dead, but it's few and far between, it might be a dying breed.

[viciuzurban]

there are higher rates or cohabition of couples living together before even deciding to get marry...many get comfortable and dont feel the need to get married just so they can have a "piece of paper". others are just simply not ready to commit for various reasons family work etc. or dont know the other well enough. true it happens. many go into marriage willingly and with favourable intentions. others i mean some do it for malicious reasons. bottom line is do you need to be mentally prepared for the transition to marriage?

[InYourDreams]

bottom line is do you need to be mentally prepared for the transition to marriage?

I think so...

[slimvaca]

not if u pick the right girl u see alot of people get married for all the wrong reason's like kids, or green card and stuff of that nature and people need to realize that if u don't get a long with the person that when u get married shit don't change. they cause they got rings on they're fingers the other person is gonna stop cheatin or drinking thats not what that means to alot of people it's more sercurity for most people than anything else. To answer ur question people just need to think shit through before they jump the gun.

[viciuzurban]

I think so...

i think so too.