SHARE A FUNNY/CRAZY/WEIRD SEX STORY....

[newarkhiphop]

CRAZY SHIT A BROAD EVER SAID TO ME DURING SEX=



This happend bout a year ago, so ive been dating this girl for a month nothing sexually has happend but she finally decide she gonna give it up one night, we on her front porch n whatever its like 2am.....she grabs my knee and is like "lets go for a drive" so u know am happy them a mofuka! broad had me waitin for month n some change. so am like dam i aint got no condoms! she likes hold up lemme go get sum from my room. we go to this bitch bed room she pulled out a roll of condoms (like snoop gave dr. dre in that vid.) am like goddddddammmm its onnnnn now !!

So we gets to the nearnest motor lodge inn. A nicca got bout 40 buks on him so i had to go back n forth wit the arab manager to lemme get the room for 40. So after 15min arguing wit osama cuzin i get the room. we get there i pop on the porn channel while she goes to the bathroom to get "Fresh" so i do my regular motel pre fukin routine ( cars keys and wallet in boots),(boots under bed), (3 condoms already semi open and ready to go)......

Next thing i know shoRTY come out the room BUCK naked:dribble: so am like jeezy LETS GET IT!!!!!



:smoking: (INSERT SEX HERE):smoking:


So heres the good part ive fukin broken my 3 "main" condoms and nicca pissed cuz this girl really tryin play me out tryin "put it on me" .....so am goin hard at her, now am goin raw in her and she screamin out all types of cusses and now am just bout done....bout read yo bust . .....so as am pullin out.......next word outta Mrs."i dont give it up to just anbodys" mouth is ............"dont stop bust inside me"

:shock: :shock: say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ME= "what u say BITCHHHHH??????????????????"

HER= "Why u trippin nicca just cum inside me"

moral of the story: never trust a hoe


p.s no i aint bust in her.




share your stories:

[Caine]

^^^^LMAO, Propz....

[Luda167]

*falls off chair laughing*

[cp3boy]

:laugh: @your regular motel pre sex routine

[$Gboro_Nicca$]

hahaha nigga she tried to get cho ass, u shoulda busted in her face, dats wat i woulda did

[newarkhiphop]

:bump: :bump: :bump: :bump: :bump:

[Jowy]

hahaha nigga she tried to get cho ass, u shoulda busted in her face, dats wat i woulda did
haha no doubt

[youngcity151]

i was bout to fuck...but then i busted a nut:smh:

[Brooklyn G Musik]

i was bout to fuck...but then i busted a nut:smh:

^^LOL LOL DYEN LAUGHEN SON DATS MAD FUNNY//

[Chuck-Taylor]

Ok, this happened one faithfully Friday. Its me, greg, mary, gabby and Charlie. Ok now mary is gregs girl. And Charlie is marys bro. and greg is my boy from hs. Just important background info.

Ok now greg was empting out his car and gave gabby a half bottle of liquor. Weeks go by and gabby forgets about the liquor. So one Friday she calls greg and says she found it and she cant hold her liquor. Wat could POSSIBLY come of this?? So greg comes and scoops me up and we head to gabbys house. Lemme find out she answers the door in a bra and shorts. Anyway. She explains how after takin four shots she realized they were DOUBLE shot glasses.

So we scoop gabby up and she starts fuckn the seats in the car. So she grindn and w/e and somehow she starts hangn out of the window flashn every1 whose walkn past. Now we get mary and her bro (wtf was he doin there idk). So anyway we head back to gabbys crib and we finish up the liquor and bout to smoke a lil green. So now all the females got liquor in em and THC. Wat more could u ask for?

So we all chilln. Gabby kissn on me or w/e. mary kissn greg. Charlie aint doin shit, sides sittn there lookn dumb. So gregs like yo I gotta get my granddad. So he bounced. AS SOON as the nigga left gabby and mary start goin at it. Worse this is, Charlie is sittn there the whole time, dumbass. So these chicks goin the fuck at it. And marys like no my brothers there. So us three head inside. These chicks are some grade A certified freaks. All im sayn is a shower was involved. Thank god for digital cameras. i bet that nigga wish he never left, oh well. The nite took a turn for the worse when mom came home. But that’s another story.

[brucebruce]

Well this story took place while I was in High School. My gurl called me one day, cause i aint go to skool that day, she was pissed, she was like "why tha fuck u aint come to skool, i wanted some dick?" I was cracking up and I was like u kno where my house at.

Tha next day she came to my house, my mom and my lil brother was there and my mom was going to work, she gonna tell my lil bro to watch us, so he was blocking like a mug. I knew I had to work sumin out wit him, so i asked him where he wanted to go, and i told him i would put on his favorite Bob The Builder tape, and i took him upstairs, the next thing i kno he came back down, he said he wanted to stay downstairs.

I took my gurl upstairs and he said i wanna stay up here now, so me and my gurl went back downstairs, he stayed upstairs for a minute. We start going at it, and i was tearing it up, she was saying she could feel it in her stomach, while hittin it, i heard this scary shit. I felt like i was in a horror movie and was about to get killed. Tha noise I heard was a lil kid laughing, my lil brother was on tha steps jus cracking up, so we jus said forget it! LOL

[usa]

lol i dunno mayn i have alot i think my sex life is just tryna scare the ass outta me lol ! hmmmm lemeee choose a good one for ya'll to here....

ok basically a few of the girls i dated have milf moms ! and most of them are single (not that it wud stop enyone lol) so i went over to my girls house coz i know her mom was hot ! and i jus got wiv this girl so we didnt fuck yet, so i went over her house a lil early to what time she sed she was gonna be there and what du u know her moms there and ill skip the boring part of preforeplay (ish stuff) so i went up to her moms room and her mom started sucking me off ! and afta bout 15 mins i dint bust and my girl opens the front door so i run like a bitch to her room and go under her covers and she coms in and i was like "the door was open so i came in and i cant wait any longer i need to fuck and i still had my mr happy face on so she got on and we were at it and i cummed in like 5 mins and she broke up wiv me coz i dint last long enough ! i was tempted to say ur mom warmed me up but that wudda bin raw !

[TecH.N.I.C.aL]

i was bout to fuck...but then i busted a nut:smh:WTF?!!! LMAO!!!! i bet that was embarassing as hell....lmao!! :laugh:

[Spinstyle]

dat ain`t funny dawg but you was telling hella funny story haha

it was fun to read

[HoneyDip_09]

Ok, this happened one faithfully Friday. Its me, greg, mary, gabby and Charlie. Ok now mary is gregs girl. And Charlie is marys bro. and greg is my boy from hs. Just important background info.

Ok now greg was empting out his car and gave gabby a half bottle of liquor. Weeks go by and gabby forgets about the liquor. So one Friday she calls greg and says she found it and she cant hold her liquor. Wat could POSSIBLY come of this?? So greg comes and scoops me up and we head to gabbys house. Lemme find out she answers the door in a bra and shorts. Anyway. She explains how after takin four shots she realized they were DOUBLE shot glasses.

So we scoop gabby up and she starts fuckn the seats in the car. So she grindn and w/e and somehow she starts hangn out of the window flashn every1 whose walkn past. Now we get mary and her bro (wtf was he doin there idk). So anyway we head back to gabbys crib and we finish up the liquor and bout to smoke a lil green. So now all the females got liquor in em and THC. Wat more could u ask for?

So we all chilln. Gabby kissn on me or w/e. mary kissn greg. Charlie aint doin shit, sides sittn there lookn dumb. So gregs like yo I gotta get my granddad. So he bounced. AS SOON as the nigga left gabby and mary start goin at it. Worse this is, Charlie is sittn there the whole time, dumbass. So these chicks goin the fuck at it. And marys like no my brothers there. So us three head inside. These chicks are some grade A certified freaks. All im sayn is a shower was involved. Thank god for digital cameras. i bet that nigga wish he never left, oh well. The nite took a turn for the worse when mom came home. But that’s another story.
good job letting your girlfriend read that

[THC]

too bad this is a duplicate thread :smh:

http://www.realestniggas.com/board/showthread.php?t=356757

[THC]

So now all the females got liquor in em and THC. Wat more could u ask for?

http://i5.tinypic.com/14ma0di.gif

[SuPreme1]

http://i5.tinypic.com/14ma0di.gif

LMAO!

[jimmy_loo_tong]

*falls off chair laughing* :laugh:

[jimmy_loo_tong]

good job letting your girlfriend read that
O RLY??

[HoneyDip_09]

O RLY??
yup.....

[4104Life]

The funniest I can think of was the first time I TRIED to fuck my current girlfriend. She wasn't supposed to have nobody in her house but her mother was in another state so she was home by herself and her aunt was stayin at her house but she wasn't gettin off till work later that day but she had another aunt that stayed a few doors over. It was in December so it snowed a lil bit and there was ice on the ground...anyway i'm upstairs in her room ready to smash her for the first time she made me wait a month. Anyway I went raw (I was gonna pull out) and I put it in there it felt real good cause it was the first time I got to smash her, two humps in somebody start bangin on the door so she push me off top of her and throw her clothes on run down the steps to answer the door meanwhile i'm layin on her bed butt ass naked hard as trigonometry...she came back up and was like you gotta leave my aunt is about to come in so I throw my clothes on but I ain't get to pull my pants up all the way I jumped down her stairs like American Gladiators and dashed out the back sliding door...as soon as I landed my foot outside I slipped and did some cartoon shit and busted my ass on some ice and then tried to get back up and fell again finally I got up with my pants still hangin off my ass and ran home cause I don't live that far away...good news is I got to smash the next day lol the end

[junior20762003]

[QUOTE So after 15min arguing wit osama cuzin i get the room.QUOTE] LOL!!!!!!!!!!:laugh: :laugh:

[NoXiDe]

Okay this is one crazy ass story

i was datin a twin a while back called amy, and her sister was calledsarah theey were pretty much identical, except her sarah had a tatto just above her ass

so one night theres a huge party at her place... every1 was wasted, then a shit loads of XTC got passed about, Amy had been gone for about half an hour, so i just kepy gettin smashed, had a few pills, and so did Sarah.

So a few hours later im like fooked up, and i thought i was going to bed with Amy, we going at it for hours and shit, then for some stupid reasons we decide to record us goin at it... anyways one we had finshed for good i head off home...

woke up the next morning dident have a clue what had happened, a few days later im sat in amys bedroom... and shes like i wonder whats on this tape.

so it comes on... and shes like woah when did we do this, im like the other night.... night of the party, ans shes like oh i cant remeber a thing...
so we keep watching and she hassent noticed its her sister... then i turn her sister over on the video and she sees that tatto

she starts shotting everything in the bedroom at me, then she goes into Sarahs room and starts battering her.
then her dad comes up and stops them fighting, and Amy tells him whats gone on she even told him about the video... so he comes in Amys bed room gonna kill me, and he one mean mother fucker, so im stright out the window onto the garage roof, and then im gone.

[TecH.N.I.C.aL]

^^kinda hard to believe but w/e

[WastelandWarrior]

i dont really have funny stories...other then me and my ex was about to fuck cuz her dad left ..he was supposed to gone for along time...her bedroom window faces the drive way so we could tell if a car was pulling up...any how i had her at the end of the bed and i was settin on the floor eating that pussy...just goin to town on that shit....and all of the sudden she sees two headlights coming up the drive way....she got mad scared and flung her legs around to get up....her knee caught me right in the nose.....busted my shit up...i was bleedin all over the place...i ran to the bathroom to get dressed.....her dad walked in and saw the blood in the hallway floor...we just said we was wrestling around .....he never let me forget that either....cuz as far as he knew his daughter just kicked my ass when we was wrestling

[4104Life]

Got some crazy shit that happened today...i'm nailing my girl round 2 on that thing and we goin at it hard breakin a sweat everything like that kinda gettin close to the finale...anyway I kept the bedroom door open cause I was playin slow jams from the next room over which is my studio...anyway Orkin man was supposed to be at my crib like 2-3 weeks ago to do pest control but never showed up...but I live in like public housing type shit so the landlord give the Orkin man keys to the apartments...anyway we smashin hard body and she moaning and we talkin to each other ain't really hearin nothin, she yelled out "it's your pussy" and as soon as she said that I hear a voice right at the bottom of the stairs yell out "pest control pest control!" I was like man you a fuckin pest hold on a second, I puts my clothes on go downstairs and the mothafucka already left...moral of the story, fuck Orkin and close all ya doors

[junior20762003]

i would have chased his ass down and beat the black off his ass teach the orkin man a lesson LOL ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[musickgeorge]

I got two the first one is a fucked up one and the second is a funny one.

This was about two years ago when i was still in school. I was fuckin with this girl who still lived at home with her family and it was friday her parents went out and left her there with her little sister. Her sisters sleep and i fuck her porno style on the couch in the chair and then we just chillin talking and we hear a car. So now im like its time for me to bounce. I run to the back and i open the door and her dads there feeding the dogs and he turns around and sees me. I cant run cause then he'll know some shit went down so we start talking and go back in the house. Then i start talking to the mom and its like a fuckin family get together. Her dad die appears and im trying to get to the door and leeve. Then her dad comes back cusin and he trys to grab me i move out the way and he looses his balance and falls through this glass table. He cuts his self real real bad and they have to call the ambulance. A week later the girl calls me and tells me that her dad had a nanny cam put in the living room.

Im messing around with this girl and i tell to give me some head. She starts suck on it and and i stand up and she still going at on some superhead type shit and im into the moment and i say "Yeah suck that dick bitch." without thinking. She takes itout her mouth and pushes me like on my knee i fall back and bust a whole in her wall.

[bronx_231]

Im messing around with this girl and i tell to give me some head. She starts suck on it and and i stand up and she still going at on some superhead type shit and im into the moment and i say "Yeah suck that dick bitch." without thinking. She takes itout her mouth and pushes me like on my knee i fall back and bust a whole in her wall.

lol..