PLAYBOY™
June 16th, 2005, 06:31 PM
from www.sex-project.com
i noe some cocky niggas gonna think they noe it all,and not come to dis thread..those tha same niggas who dont gotta clue wut they doin,believe me,theres always room fo improvements
Pussy Fingering
Fingering is the grand art of masturbating your woman's vagina with your own fingers. See our Female Anatomy guide for a detailed diagram of the female genitals. It involves much more than just sticking them inside her and moving them around. The most important thing you can have when going into something new is knowledge. It's also very, very important to have a partner who can talk to you about this and give you instruction during the act and afterwards. This way, you can both learn more about each other's intimate perks, secrets, and desires. You'll also find that if you make her happy, you'll be happier as well. It should be noted that the guide that follows is one example of guidelines. These specific techniques aren't necessarily going to work for all women. You'll honestly need to consult with your partner on what works and what doesn't, but these will be some starting tips. Just remember to keep the communication channels open, and don't be afraid to add a little variety.
First, when rubbing her clit, up-and-down motions usually work better than side-to-side or circular. Sure, you can use the latter two to vary it every now and then, but, on the whole (whether fingering or using your tongue), up and down on the clitoris usually works best.
When actually using a finger or two inside of her (I'd suggest one for tighter girls--you CAN fit two, usually, but you lose a lot of maneuverability, and she'll be sore afterward), one of the better motions I've found is to push your finger all the way in, then bend it slightly when pulling it out, so it scrapes against the top of her insides. Not only does this feel really good, but it gives you a chance at hitting the G-spot. If you do hit it, you should be able to tell by your partner's reaction. And, trust me, you need to find the G-spot sooner or later (sooner the better), and use it to your full advantage. That's one of the best places to start consistently rubbing when she's getting close to orgasm.
That's another thing- try to be consistent. You can vary your angle and fingering style sometimes during the session, but don't change every three seconds. And when she gets close to orgasm, DON'T change unless she tells you to. Get a little rougher and pump your finger a little further into her, great. Go faster, wonderful. But DON'T decide "Hey, maybe if I completely change my angle and rotate my finger THIS way" when she's near the edge- every time you switch, it sort of knocks her orgasm back a bit, and that can be really frustrating for her. And most importantly, when she's getting closer to orgasm, if she says for you to do something, DO IT. Harder, faster, rougher, whatever- she knows what she needs, and it'll help her orgasm along a lot if you just listen to her and do what she says. This is for HER, after all.
Also, pay attention to more than her genital area. I know it takes a lot of concentration to finger a girl, especially when you're new at it, and so you sort of forget to do anything else, but it makes the girl feel better and increases her general body sensitivity if you nip at her thighs, rub her stomach or breast with your free hand, do SOMETHING. Mostly, it helps her feel like something more than just genitals to you, and that means a lot to her general pleasure. You may even want to stop every now and then (provided she isn't close to orgasm because that would be just mean) to just hug and kiss her for a minute or two. It would give you both a break and would preserve the intimacy of it all.
You can get a lot of pointers if you ask her to touch herself while you watch, and then pattern your motions after her. In fact, the first few times, you may want to ask her to finger herself or rub her clitoris herself, so that you can take care of just one of those aspects and learn what feels good while watching what she does on herself that feels good in the other area.
Talk to her during the act. Tell her that she's pretty, ask her if what you're doing feels good, tell her you want her and that you like doing this, that sort of thing. That helps keep the intimacy going, making her feel like a person and not just a vagina, and also reassures her that you aren't bored. Many women are sort of paranoid that the guy isn't having any fun at all- make sure she knows that you are. Even after you are done, fully clothed, and alone, make sure to remind her just how much you enjoyed doing that for her.
Especially right after she has reached orgasm, don't pull your finger out suddenly. Unless it's part of hard, fast thrusts (and usually even then), your finger should stay in or come out very gradually. Ripping it out all at once can be very uncomfortable or painful for a girl. Sliding it very slowly can even serve to tease, and make sure you look her in the eyes and grin when you do this. She should love it.
Mostly, it depends on communication with your partner about her needs and wants. Some girls like it rougher or faster than others. Some like more vaginal stimulation, others want just clitoral. It boils down to reading your partner's reaction and asking her to help teach you what she wants. Be willing and ready to learn, and you'll do fine.
G-Spot Guide
G-spot is the nickname for the Grafenberg spot, named after the guy who noted its erotic significance in the 1950's. The G-spot in women is analogous to the prostate in men (which seems to play a more direct role in sex and procreation).
The G-spot is a gland located behind the pubic bone and around the urethra. It can be massaged or stimulated by reaching up about two finger joints distance on the upper surface of the vagina. If already aroused, some women will find that stimulation of this area leads to an intense orgasm which may be of a different quality from a clitoral orgasm. Stimulation of the spot produces a variety of initial feelings: discomfort, feeling the need to urinate, or a pleasurable feeling. With additional stroking the area may begin to swell and the sensations may become more pleasureable. Continuing stimulation may produce an intense orgasm. Like the prostate, the G-spot can produce an fluid like semen (but not as viscous) which may be released on orgasm- even known to "squirt" a couple of centimeters.
For comparison, the prostate in men is also located behind the pubic bone and around the urethra. The two ejaculatory ducts also end here (bringing sperm from the testis via vas deferens). The prostate can be reached through the anus (as in Doctors performing a prostate exam). Continued stimulation of the prostate may produce intense orgasms in men. The prostate is the glad which produces most of the seminal fluid that is ejaculated (other than the sperm in the semen).
For those who never had a close look at a vulva before and are a bit worried, I should say that, except when quite sincerely aroused, female genitals are usually clearly set out. The clitoris likes to hide under it's own little hood, the lips stick pretty close to one another, and it is quite likely that if the owner of the genitals is standing up and unaroused you won't really see more than some enticing tufts of hair and maybe the outer lips. People whose knowledge of these matters derives mainly from Playboy pictorials may be quite surprised that there's more here than "just a hole".
Traditionally it was thought that all of the sensation available from the female genitals derived from the lips, entrance to the vagina, and especially the clitoris. In other words, what you see above. It was thought that the interior of the vagina was practically numb to sexual sensation.
Now one of those old coots who spent his"professional" time sticking their noses into other people's intimate businesses was a guy called Grafenberg. Dr. G. had this theory that there was an area within the vagina, which was called the Grafenberg spot or G-spot, which not only was sexually sensitive but which could trigger bigger and better female orgasms than the clitoris and the exterior bits could by themselves.
Now the trouble with Dr. G.'s claim was that not everyone seemed to be able to find this spot, which he reckoned was analogous with the male prostate gland, and those that did find it didn't necessarily like it much, and so there was some controversy, especially in the popular press. A number of folks who did find it and did like it eventually soused out the mechanics of the spot, and in recent years there have been a number of good books about it.
The story is basically this: The G-spot is a flat area about as big as a nickel, about two inches inside the vagina. It's just behind the pubic bone, on the vaginal wall that is closest to the belly button. You can reach it with your index finger. If the genitals you're playing with are not very aroused then you might have difficulty finding it, or it might not feel very interesting or nice to the owner. The trick is to make those genitals very aroused, and then have a go at the G-spot. The best way is probably cunnilingus, which is Latin for having a lick, but any technique that provides good stimulation of the clitoris will do for starters.
Now bear in mind that I'm skipping over a lot here. I strongly recommend a good deal of foreplay before diving into a woman's muff, like at least half an hour, and longer if you like. If you can manage dinner and a good bath beforehand, even better. Actually, I imagine that a bath or a shower before sex is a reasonably good idea anyway, because we're dealing with equipment that can be quite undesirable if it's on the nose when it's on the nose, if you take my meaning. Besides, bathing together is fun, if that's an option.
So, presuming that your woman is content with the preliminaries and you're going hunting, you're going to have to begin by relaxing. If you're so messed up that slamming your dick in the door has a pleasurable side to it (sorry feminists, I'm not certain what the female equivalent to that state is) then forget all this until you've had a bloody good rogering or two.
Once you've achieved a state of patient interest, slowly start to stimulate the clitoris. You've got to be really careful here, because clitori are damned sensitive little beggars, and too much of a good thing is not really a good thing at all. Also, different clitori like different things. Some like very direct stimulation, some prefer one side or the other, others are so sensitive that they like you to mainly stick to the clitoral hood or the labia. Some like a circular motion, and others like to be lightly flicked back and forth. The best way to find out what your clitoris likes is to ask it's owner, and if she doesn't know then do some experimentation. That's fun too, so don't get pissed off if it takes a little while to figure out what's good for you.
As I said, my preferred method is cunnilingus, but if the owner of your clitoris doesn't like that for some reason ("no, my dear, it's not germy and it does taste rather nice") then you'll have to use your fingers. I find that the best thing for clitori is a nice regular stroke, with regular exotic interludes. Basically it's the same thing as for penises - you don't want all sorts of unpredictable jerking around, and you don't want to feel like it's caught in a vise, and you don't want it to feel like it's attached to a reciprocating engine going at 5000 revs. Take it easy. If the owner of your clitoris wants more stimulation you'll notice her writhing around and pushing it at you. If she wants less then she'll draw away. If it's just right then she'll sit where she is and enjoy it. Pay attention to what she does. When it comes to pleasuring a woman, she says a lot more with her actions than with her words.
So, you've got a nice regular stroke going - say, seven strokes and then something exotic, and then another seven strokes and another something exotic. Of course the G spot is in the vagina, and you're going to have to know what's going on in there if you're going to find it and do something with it. Slowly insert a finger or two. Don't grab, because that can be rude and distracting.
Now hopefully the vagina that you're dealing with is well lubricated, but that won't necessarily be the case. If you spend a long time at this even the juiciest woman can start to dry out, so it never hurts to have a little lubricant handy, just in case. I'd recommend K-Y jelly, which you should be able to find at any pharmacy, but there are lots of alternatives. One that I wouldn't recommend is Vaseline - too thick. Another is baby oil, it's too thin.
You can entertain yourself by running your finger around the inside of the vagina, trying to discern its shape. Unless your female is coming (having an orgasm), you should probably find that the vagina is reasonably form-fitting, although some are tighter than others. If your female is not coming or consciously causing contractions you'll probably find that the vagina isn't doing anything in particular, just sitting there and producing lubricant. If you bring your finger to the front wall of the vagina then you'll find it less yielding than the rest, because there is a bone in front of it called the pubic bone, part of the pelvis. If you feel along this unyielding section or just beyond you may find a slightly raised area. This is the G spot. It might not be raised, but it will engorge once your female starts to come.
Don't poke this spot yet. Don't do anything with it, yet. At best you won't have any effect, and at worst you'll be distracting. You've got to wait for your female to start to come. Now this might happen in thirty seconds, or it might take an hour, and you've just got to be patient and keep things regular and smooth. You'll be able to tell your woman is coming when:
she tells you: she moans one hell of a lot and her breathing changes
she flushes: over her face, neck and/or chest
her vagina begins to flutter rhythmically around your finger
You may see all of these things, or you may see none of them. If you miss an orgasm, don't stop unless you or she wants to. Women have startling recuperative powers, particularly when they're receiving the right level of attention, and generosity is its own reward. Multiple orgasms are not mythical.
Once you believe that your woman is coming you should shift your attention from the clitoris to the G spot. Keep up the same rhythm, but use more pressure. You may want to keep some sort of contact with the clitoris, but just as a penis becomes super-sensitive during orgasm, to the point of discomfort, so can a clit.
As with the clitoris, you should pay attention to whether the woman pushes towards you, draws away from you or just sits there to gauge the amount of pressure you're giving. You probably won't need to vary your speed much, but pay attention to what she says she wants.
Now as you go at the G-spot you'll find that your woman keeps coming for longer than you've seen before. You may even experience that most startling of sexual phenomena, a female ejaculation. I've seen three of these (actually I got a mouthful), but I can't say whether the fluid comes from the vagina or the urethra. It's quite nice, sort of like salad dressing. It's definitely not urine, and it is probably polite and hopefully reciprocal to swallow it.
Keep going at that G-spot. Eventually you will feel the vagina draw away from your finger - it becomes bigger and the walls get taut, and not form-fitting, sort of like a little cave. When it does this it's time to switch back to the clitoris. Keep up the same rhythm. When the vagina begins to contract on your finger again, go back to the G-spot.
If you keep this up for a while (and if the owner of your female genitals wants to stop, then stop - this isn't a competition), you'll find that the nature of the vaginal contractions changes. The cave effect becomes less and less frequent and you can spend more and more time with the G-spot. Also, the contractions in the vagina become less simple squeezing and fluttering, and more a sort of reverse swallowing - a contraction that starts deep within the vagina and travels to its entrance. It feels a bit like the vagina is trying to push your finger out. Eventually (may take hours and patience and many tries) you've got nothing but these push-out contractions, and you can go on as long as the owner of the genitals wants to, and your tongue and fingers don't wear out. If you go on this long you're almost certainly going to need some extra lubricant, so be prepared.
There you have it. At least in my experience, women can have orgasms that last orders of magnitude longer and seem to be much better than those that men can have. I guess I better add a disclaimer that all of this is only one man's experience, and I could be completely wrong about the female genitals that you have. I'm not certain there is such a thing as device independence where sexual equipment is concerned. I don't think that any of the things I've advocated can do you any harm, but see your doctor if you've got doubts. The main thing is to have fun.
Guide to Cunnilingus 1
Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina/vulva with your mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice, and dedication to get it right, but any woman you learn to do it right for will appreciate you all the more for it. What applies to the penis applies to the vulva - every one is different, requiring a different touch to make its owner happy. But few tools can equal the tongue for the amount of pleasure it can deliver to a happy vagina. This article assumes that you know what a vulva looks like and can identify with some precision the mons veneris, labia majora, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia minora, urethra, vagina, and perineum, to name them (approximately) from top to bottom.
This isn't an attack. Don't go after the clitoris like a fireman attacking a fire. Quite often at first, the clitoris is far too sensitive for direct stimulation. Lick around it, stimulating the hood, teasing her inner labia, tasting her. Take your time and listen to her. Some women make noise, and some do not. It will be a while before you learn exactly what your lover prefers as far as oral sex is concerned. Some women may like additional stimulation - a finger or two into the vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may want your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or she may want your fingers to hold her labia apart so that your tongue can get at her vulva more directly.
If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to wash first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good, if acquired, taste. As a woman nears her climax, she may want more direct stimulation. In general, fast, rhythmic stimulation is most effective at causing climax- but there shouldn't be a rush to get there. Take your time and learn to appreciate what you can do for her.
Some people are particularly turned off at the suggestion of cunnulingus during menstruation. If it is a concern to you, then wait. A tampon may well hold the blood back, as will a diaphragm, but some men can't stand the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, however, there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and some women find that orgasms during their periods allievate cramps.
A Guide to Cunnilingus 2
Tongue and vulva
Any licking and sucking of the labia, vaginal entrance, clitoris, or anal area is going to feel just great. Start your tonguing by lapping her vulva from vaginal entrance up to her clitoris, while keeping your tongue and jaw relaxed. Run your tongue between the inner and outer labia on one side, while keeping the two sides together between your lips. (There are two lips on each side of her vulva, do this to one side at a time.) Then do the other side.
Tongue sex
Make love to her vulva with your tongue - in and out, around and around, try with your tongue hard, then soft and change the tempo often. This feels nice. Spread her outer lips with your hand. With your tongue pointed and stiff, gently flick the end of your tongue here and there. Roam around, but keep coming back to her clitoris. Be careful to not apply too much pressure on the clitoris in the beginning, wait for her signal - moaning and bucking her hips. This drives some women wild, and others can't take it.
Intense vulva techniques
When she’s really hot and her vulva is throbbing try these incredible intense techniques. Watch her signals closely as these techniques may be too much, even when she’s nearing orgasm. With her clitoris still exposed, give it a quick little suck by pulling it into your mouth briefly and letting it go. This will drive her insane with ecstasy! Take her exposed clitoris into your mouth and gently suck on it, at the same time flick your tongue over and around her clit. This can be done very lightly or very aggressively, and combined with fingering, will usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm. Try rolling your tongue into a tube by bringing the sides of your tongue up and together. If you can't do this with your tongue, you can't learn it, it's a genetic trait. Roll your tongue into a tube around the shaft of her clitoris, sliding it up and down, making a tiny vulva of your own for her clitoris to fuck.
Oral vulva-sex positions
For a very comfortable session, have her lie on her back with legs spread and knees bent slightly. Lie on your stomach between her legs putting your right arm under her left leg and your left arm under her right leg. Your head is comfortably in place near the center of your attention. Your arms wrap around her legs leaving your hands free. Not as comfy but a bit wilder is this one. Lie on your back and prop a couple of pillows under your head. She kneels with her vulva facing you with one knee on each side of your head, above your shoulders. The sexy part of this position is that your partner can look down at you and watch you eating her out. Comfort is reduced for the one eating here, so you may want to start in this position and finish in the above position. Have her lie down with her legs dangling off the bed and resting flat on the floor, most beds are too high. She must sit just at the edge of the bed, lie back, and give you plenty of access while you kneel/sit in front of her genitals. These are by no means the only positions, so experiment and have fun.
i noe some cocky niggas gonna think they noe it all,and not come to dis thread..those tha same niggas who dont gotta clue wut they doin,believe me,theres always room fo improvements
Pussy Fingering
Fingering is the grand art of masturbating your woman's vagina with your own fingers. See our Female Anatomy guide for a detailed diagram of the female genitals. It involves much more than just sticking them inside her and moving them around. The most important thing you can have when going into something new is knowledge. It's also very, very important to have a partner who can talk to you about this and give you instruction during the act and afterwards. This way, you can both learn more about each other's intimate perks, secrets, and desires. You'll also find that if you make her happy, you'll be happier as well. It should be noted that the guide that follows is one example of guidelines. These specific techniques aren't necessarily going to work for all women. You'll honestly need to consult with your partner on what works and what doesn't, but these will be some starting tips. Just remember to keep the communication channels open, and don't be afraid to add a little variety.
First, when rubbing her clit, up-and-down motions usually work better than side-to-side or circular. Sure, you can use the latter two to vary it every now and then, but, on the whole (whether fingering or using your tongue), up and down on the clitoris usually works best.
When actually using a finger or two inside of her (I'd suggest one for tighter girls--you CAN fit two, usually, but you lose a lot of maneuverability, and she'll be sore afterward), one of the better motions I've found is to push your finger all the way in, then bend it slightly when pulling it out, so it scrapes against the top of her insides. Not only does this feel really good, but it gives you a chance at hitting the G-spot. If you do hit it, you should be able to tell by your partner's reaction. And, trust me, you need to find the G-spot sooner or later (sooner the better), and use it to your full advantage. That's one of the best places to start consistently rubbing when she's getting close to orgasm.
That's another thing- try to be consistent. You can vary your angle and fingering style sometimes during the session, but don't change every three seconds. And when she gets close to orgasm, DON'T change unless she tells you to. Get a little rougher and pump your finger a little further into her, great. Go faster, wonderful. But DON'T decide "Hey, maybe if I completely change my angle and rotate my finger THIS way" when she's near the edge- every time you switch, it sort of knocks her orgasm back a bit, and that can be really frustrating for her. And most importantly, when she's getting closer to orgasm, if she says for you to do something, DO IT. Harder, faster, rougher, whatever- she knows what she needs, and it'll help her orgasm along a lot if you just listen to her and do what she says. This is for HER, after all.
Also, pay attention to more than her genital area. I know it takes a lot of concentration to finger a girl, especially when you're new at it, and so you sort of forget to do anything else, but it makes the girl feel better and increases her general body sensitivity if you nip at her thighs, rub her stomach or breast with your free hand, do SOMETHING. Mostly, it helps her feel like something more than just genitals to you, and that means a lot to her general pleasure. You may even want to stop every now and then (provided she isn't close to orgasm because that would be just mean) to just hug and kiss her for a minute or two. It would give you both a break and would preserve the intimacy of it all.
You can get a lot of pointers if you ask her to touch herself while you watch, and then pattern your motions after her. In fact, the first few times, you may want to ask her to finger herself or rub her clitoris herself, so that you can take care of just one of those aspects and learn what feels good while watching what she does on herself that feels good in the other area.
Talk to her during the act. Tell her that she's pretty, ask her if what you're doing feels good, tell her you want her and that you like doing this, that sort of thing. That helps keep the intimacy going, making her feel like a person and not just a vagina, and also reassures her that you aren't bored. Many women are sort of paranoid that the guy isn't having any fun at all- make sure she knows that you are. Even after you are done, fully clothed, and alone, make sure to remind her just how much you enjoyed doing that for her.
Especially right after she has reached orgasm, don't pull your finger out suddenly. Unless it's part of hard, fast thrusts (and usually even then), your finger should stay in or come out very gradually. Ripping it out all at once can be very uncomfortable or painful for a girl. Sliding it very slowly can even serve to tease, and make sure you look her in the eyes and grin when you do this. She should love it.
Mostly, it depends on communication with your partner about her needs and wants. Some girls like it rougher or faster than others. Some like more vaginal stimulation, others want just clitoral. It boils down to reading your partner's reaction and asking her to help teach you what she wants. Be willing and ready to learn, and you'll do fine.
G-Spot Guide
G-spot is the nickname for the Grafenberg spot, named after the guy who noted its erotic significance in the 1950's. The G-spot in women is analogous to the prostate in men (which seems to play a more direct role in sex and procreation).
The G-spot is a gland located behind the pubic bone and around the urethra. It can be massaged or stimulated by reaching up about two finger joints distance on the upper surface of the vagina. If already aroused, some women will find that stimulation of this area leads to an intense orgasm which may be of a different quality from a clitoral orgasm. Stimulation of the spot produces a variety of initial feelings: discomfort, feeling the need to urinate, or a pleasurable feeling. With additional stroking the area may begin to swell and the sensations may become more pleasureable. Continuing stimulation may produce an intense orgasm. Like the prostate, the G-spot can produce an fluid like semen (but not as viscous) which may be released on orgasm- even known to "squirt" a couple of centimeters.
For comparison, the prostate in men is also located behind the pubic bone and around the urethra. The two ejaculatory ducts also end here (bringing sperm from the testis via vas deferens). The prostate can be reached through the anus (as in Doctors performing a prostate exam). Continued stimulation of the prostate may produce intense orgasms in men. The prostate is the glad which produces most of the seminal fluid that is ejaculated (other than the sperm in the semen).
For those who never had a close look at a vulva before and are a bit worried, I should say that, except when quite sincerely aroused, female genitals are usually clearly set out. The clitoris likes to hide under it's own little hood, the lips stick pretty close to one another, and it is quite likely that if the owner of the genitals is standing up and unaroused you won't really see more than some enticing tufts of hair and maybe the outer lips. People whose knowledge of these matters derives mainly from Playboy pictorials may be quite surprised that there's more here than "just a hole".
Traditionally it was thought that all of the sensation available from the female genitals derived from the lips, entrance to the vagina, and especially the clitoris. In other words, what you see above. It was thought that the interior of the vagina was practically numb to sexual sensation.
Now one of those old coots who spent his"professional" time sticking their noses into other people's intimate businesses was a guy called Grafenberg. Dr. G. had this theory that there was an area within the vagina, which was called the Grafenberg spot or G-spot, which not only was sexually sensitive but which could trigger bigger and better female orgasms than the clitoris and the exterior bits could by themselves.
Now the trouble with Dr. G.'s claim was that not everyone seemed to be able to find this spot, which he reckoned was analogous with the male prostate gland, and those that did find it didn't necessarily like it much, and so there was some controversy, especially in the popular press. A number of folks who did find it and did like it eventually soused out the mechanics of the spot, and in recent years there have been a number of good books about it.
The story is basically this: The G-spot is a flat area about as big as a nickel, about two inches inside the vagina. It's just behind the pubic bone, on the vaginal wall that is closest to the belly button. You can reach it with your index finger. If the genitals you're playing with are not very aroused then you might have difficulty finding it, or it might not feel very interesting or nice to the owner. The trick is to make those genitals very aroused, and then have a go at the G-spot. The best way is probably cunnilingus, which is Latin for having a lick, but any technique that provides good stimulation of the clitoris will do for starters.
Now bear in mind that I'm skipping over a lot here. I strongly recommend a good deal of foreplay before diving into a woman's muff, like at least half an hour, and longer if you like. If you can manage dinner and a good bath beforehand, even better. Actually, I imagine that a bath or a shower before sex is a reasonably good idea anyway, because we're dealing with equipment that can be quite undesirable if it's on the nose when it's on the nose, if you take my meaning. Besides, bathing together is fun, if that's an option.
So, presuming that your woman is content with the preliminaries and you're going hunting, you're going to have to begin by relaxing. If you're so messed up that slamming your dick in the door has a pleasurable side to it (sorry feminists, I'm not certain what the female equivalent to that state is) then forget all this until you've had a bloody good rogering or two.
Once you've achieved a state of patient interest, slowly start to stimulate the clitoris. You've got to be really careful here, because clitori are damned sensitive little beggars, and too much of a good thing is not really a good thing at all. Also, different clitori like different things. Some like very direct stimulation, some prefer one side or the other, others are so sensitive that they like you to mainly stick to the clitoral hood or the labia. Some like a circular motion, and others like to be lightly flicked back and forth. The best way to find out what your clitoris likes is to ask it's owner, and if she doesn't know then do some experimentation. That's fun too, so don't get pissed off if it takes a little while to figure out what's good for you.
As I said, my preferred method is cunnilingus, but if the owner of your clitoris doesn't like that for some reason ("no, my dear, it's not germy and it does taste rather nice") then you'll have to use your fingers. I find that the best thing for clitori is a nice regular stroke, with regular exotic interludes. Basically it's the same thing as for penises - you don't want all sorts of unpredictable jerking around, and you don't want to feel like it's caught in a vise, and you don't want it to feel like it's attached to a reciprocating engine going at 5000 revs. Take it easy. If the owner of your clitoris wants more stimulation you'll notice her writhing around and pushing it at you. If she wants less then she'll draw away. If it's just right then she'll sit where she is and enjoy it. Pay attention to what she does. When it comes to pleasuring a woman, she says a lot more with her actions than with her words.
So, you've got a nice regular stroke going - say, seven strokes and then something exotic, and then another seven strokes and another something exotic. Of course the G spot is in the vagina, and you're going to have to know what's going on in there if you're going to find it and do something with it. Slowly insert a finger or two. Don't grab, because that can be rude and distracting.
Now hopefully the vagina that you're dealing with is well lubricated, but that won't necessarily be the case. If you spend a long time at this even the juiciest woman can start to dry out, so it never hurts to have a little lubricant handy, just in case. I'd recommend K-Y jelly, which you should be able to find at any pharmacy, but there are lots of alternatives. One that I wouldn't recommend is Vaseline - too thick. Another is baby oil, it's too thin.
You can entertain yourself by running your finger around the inside of the vagina, trying to discern its shape. Unless your female is coming (having an orgasm), you should probably find that the vagina is reasonably form-fitting, although some are tighter than others. If your female is not coming or consciously causing contractions you'll probably find that the vagina isn't doing anything in particular, just sitting there and producing lubricant. If you bring your finger to the front wall of the vagina then you'll find it less yielding than the rest, because there is a bone in front of it called the pubic bone, part of the pelvis. If you feel along this unyielding section or just beyond you may find a slightly raised area. This is the G spot. It might not be raised, but it will engorge once your female starts to come.
Don't poke this spot yet. Don't do anything with it, yet. At best you won't have any effect, and at worst you'll be distracting. You've got to wait for your female to start to come. Now this might happen in thirty seconds, or it might take an hour, and you've just got to be patient and keep things regular and smooth. You'll be able to tell your woman is coming when:
she tells you: she moans one hell of a lot and her breathing changes
she flushes: over her face, neck and/or chest
her vagina begins to flutter rhythmically around your finger
You may see all of these things, or you may see none of them. If you miss an orgasm, don't stop unless you or she wants to. Women have startling recuperative powers, particularly when they're receiving the right level of attention, and generosity is its own reward. Multiple orgasms are not mythical.
Once you believe that your woman is coming you should shift your attention from the clitoris to the G spot. Keep up the same rhythm, but use more pressure. You may want to keep some sort of contact with the clitoris, but just as a penis becomes super-sensitive during orgasm, to the point of discomfort, so can a clit.
As with the clitoris, you should pay attention to whether the woman pushes towards you, draws away from you or just sits there to gauge the amount of pressure you're giving. You probably won't need to vary your speed much, but pay attention to what she says she wants.
Now as you go at the G-spot you'll find that your woman keeps coming for longer than you've seen before. You may even experience that most startling of sexual phenomena, a female ejaculation. I've seen three of these (actually I got a mouthful), but I can't say whether the fluid comes from the vagina or the urethra. It's quite nice, sort of like salad dressing. It's definitely not urine, and it is probably polite and hopefully reciprocal to swallow it.
Keep going at that G-spot. Eventually you will feel the vagina draw away from your finger - it becomes bigger and the walls get taut, and not form-fitting, sort of like a little cave. When it does this it's time to switch back to the clitoris. Keep up the same rhythm. When the vagina begins to contract on your finger again, go back to the G-spot.
If you keep this up for a while (and if the owner of your female genitals wants to stop, then stop - this isn't a competition), you'll find that the nature of the vaginal contractions changes. The cave effect becomes less and less frequent and you can spend more and more time with the G-spot. Also, the contractions in the vagina become less simple squeezing and fluttering, and more a sort of reverse swallowing - a contraction that starts deep within the vagina and travels to its entrance. It feels a bit like the vagina is trying to push your finger out. Eventually (may take hours and patience and many tries) you've got nothing but these push-out contractions, and you can go on as long as the owner of the genitals wants to, and your tongue and fingers don't wear out. If you go on this long you're almost certainly going to need some extra lubricant, so be prepared.
There you have it. At least in my experience, women can have orgasms that last orders of magnitude longer and seem to be much better than those that men can have. I guess I better add a disclaimer that all of this is only one man's experience, and I could be completely wrong about the female genitals that you have. I'm not certain there is such a thing as device independence where sexual equipment is concerned. I don't think that any of the things I've advocated can do you any harm, but see your doctor if you've got doubts. The main thing is to have fun.
Guide to Cunnilingus 1
Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina/vulva with your mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice, and dedication to get it right, but any woman you learn to do it right for will appreciate you all the more for it. What applies to the penis applies to the vulva - every one is different, requiring a different touch to make its owner happy. But few tools can equal the tongue for the amount of pleasure it can deliver to a happy vagina. This article assumes that you know what a vulva looks like and can identify with some precision the mons veneris, labia majora, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia minora, urethra, vagina, and perineum, to name them (approximately) from top to bottom.
This isn't an attack. Don't go after the clitoris like a fireman attacking a fire. Quite often at first, the clitoris is far too sensitive for direct stimulation. Lick around it, stimulating the hood, teasing her inner labia, tasting her. Take your time and listen to her. Some women make noise, and some do not. It will be a while before you learn exactly what your lover prefers as far as oral sex is concerned. Some women may like additional stimulation - a finger or two into the vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may want your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or she may want your fingers to hold her labia apart so that your tongue can get at her vulva more directly.
If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to wash first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good, if acquired, taste. As a woman nears her climax, she may want more direct stimulation. In general, fast, rhythmic stimulation is most effective at causing climax- but there shouldn't be a rush to get there. Take your time and learn to appreciate what you can do for her.
Some people are particularly turned off at the suggestion of cunnulingus during menstruation. If it is a concern to you, then wait. A tampon may well hold the blood back, as will a diaphragm, but some men can't stand the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, however, there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and some women find that orgasms during their periods allievate cramps.
A Guide to Cunnilingus 2
Tongue and vulva
Any licking and sucking of the labia, vaginal entrance, clitoris, or anal area is going to feel just great. Start your tonguing by lapping her vulva from vaginal entrance up to her clitoris, while keeping your tongue and jaw relaxed. Run your tongue between the inner and outer labia on one side, while keeping the two sides together between your lips. (There are two lips on each side of her vulva, do this to one side at a time.) Then do the other side.
Tongue sex
Make love to her vulva with your tongue - in and out, around and around, try with your tongue hard, then soft and change the tempo often. This feels nice. Spread her outer lips with your hand. With your tongue pointed and stiff, gently flick the end of your tongue here and there. Roam around, but keep coming back to her clitoris. Be careful to not apply too much pressure on the clitoris in the beginning, wait for her signal - moaning and bucking her hips. This drives some women wild, and others can't take it.
Intense vulva techniques
When she’s really hot and her vulva is throbbing try these incredible intense techniques. Watch her signals closely as these techniques may be too much, even when she’s nearing orgasm. With her clitoris still exposed, give it a quick little suck by pulling it into your mouth briefly and letting it go. This will drive her insane with ecstasy! Take her exposed clitoris into your mouth and gently suck on it, at the same time flick your tongue over and around her clit. This can be done very lightly or very aggressively, and combined with fingering, will usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm. Try rolling your tongue into a tube by bringing the sides of your tongue up and together. If you can't do this with your tongue, you can't learn it, it's a genetic trait. Roll your tongue into a tube around the shaft of her clitoris, sliding it up and down, making a tiny vulva of your own for her clitoris to fuck.
Oral vulva-sex positions
For a very comfortable session, have her lie on her back with legs spread and knees bent slightly. Lie on your stomach between her legs putting your right arm under her left leg and your left arm under her right leg. Your head is comfortably in place near the center of your attention. Your arms wrap around her legs leaving your hands free. Not as comfy but a bit wilder is this one. Lie on your back and prop a couple of pillows under your head. She kneels with her vulva facing you with one knee on each side of your head, above your shoulders. The sexy part of this position is that your partner can look down at you and watch you eating her out. Comfort is reduced for the one eating here, so you may want to start in this position and finish in the above position. Have her lie down with her legs dangling off the bed and resting flat on the floor, most beds are too high. She must sit just at the edge of the bed, lie back, and give you plenty of access while you kneel/sit in front of her genitals. These are by no means the only positions, so experiment and have fun.